Self Care - Learning How To Let Go Of Negativity

"You are fat. You are ugly. You have too many wrinkles. Your cellulite is taking over your lower body. You are disgusting. You have stretch marks. You are not worthy."​

That's what millions and millions of people say to themselves in the mirror everyday (or words to that effect.) That’s what I used to say to myself every day before I realised that my body is not an ornament and it deserved more. 

We have a global issue right now and that is Body Loathing. I, like so many women, have struggled to love who I am. I too have stood in front of a mirror and picked out all of my 'flaws'. I too have compared myself to other people, wishing I were a little more like them. This is wrong. We need to be changing the conversations that we are having with ourselves. Instead, we should be saying " You are bold, You are beautiful, You are courageous, You are loving"....  but how? 

​October 2018, I wrote my gratitude list.

A gratitude list is a list of everything that is good about your life. Everything that you are thankful for. Health, Family, Friends, Career, Hobbies etc. Every time I start to feel disconnected, insecure or judgemental about myself and how I look, I will take a look at my gratitude list to help remind me of the good things that I have in my life. It's easy to let negative demons take over your mind and manifest if you allow them to, so if you can, try to realise what it is that makes you go from feeling 'positive' to feeling 'negative' and stop it before it manifests. I urge you to invest in yourself right now. If you can learn self care you can teach self care. You can inspire others around you to start to love themselves too. ​

We as women are programmed to tell each other that we are 'not fat' because to many people (men and women) society has turned the word 'fat' into a synonym for ugly. That is not true. We all have something about ourselves that society would define as 'imperfect' and tells us we should feel shame about. We think that we somehow have to magically become confident to be able to change something but really this is backward thinking. Confidence is a product of action. If I had to wait to have the confidence to do something, I would never be able to get out of bed in the morning. Confidence will come as a reward, as a building block of our actions. We often think that being confident and being happy should be as easy as switching on a light. "Just do it, just love yourself, just be happy." But its not that easy- its not like switching on a light. It's more like stumbling towards a motion sensor light, in the dark. You have to advance forward to a target that you can't see but trust that you will ultimately get there. The universe is ironic because the only thing that will turn that light on is your movement and your actions. Every time you are stumbling, scrambling and spinning you are actually doing the hard part, you are making a difference even if you can't pin point your progress - you are. If you make a commitment to live a shame-free life and if you are deliberate in choosing this, you will find yourself illuminated. 

What I'm saying in this blog is not a break through, it's things that you've heard before I'm sure but we need to work together to redefine the global vision of beauty and it starts by becoming your own role model, by being kind to yourself and respecting the body that you are in. True beauty comes from within and validation and self worth must also come from within. In my lowest moments of insecurity this is when I realised that I had to reclaim my body and its image as my own. I believe that beauty is beyond size and the physical appearance and with so much emphasis on size and the external it's no wonder that we are struggling inside. It is incredibly important that both men and women create a body positive environment for ourselves and each other. 

Being beautiful is a decision you make. Most of us sit around waiting for permission, affirmation or some significant other to swoop in and tell us that we are worthy and that we are beautiful. It doesn't have to be that way. It shouldn't be that way. It is always, always your decision. ​

Love and light, 
Rachel xx